I will be one year older tomorrow, but I am actually not as upset as I was 2 years ago. having Ethan does make my life more meaningful. or I just don't have time to be self pitty or sentimental ... or selflove? do I love myself? I remember I asked the exact question 20 years ago and the answer was no back then. I have tried so long and so hard to be selfloving and I thought I have complished that but now I am asking for love again. I have been asked many times if I were ready for baby #2. I didn't know the anwer, I always thought if there'd be abay #1 then there has to be #2, cause it made sense. well ...it made sense then but I am not ready for another one, I know that for sure, as least for today ... I love Ethan, I won't treat him for the whole world, but I need to get myelf back, I need to learn to love myself again, take care myself again, get my balance back so I could be able to give again. saying that makes me feel lighter already. ;-)
again, Happy Birthday and sweet dream
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