Happy Birthday to me

I will be one year older tomorrow, but I am actually not as upset as I was 2 years ago. having Ethan does make my life more meaningful. or I just don't have time to be self pitty or sentimental ... or selflove? do I love myself? I remember I asked the exact question 20 years ago and the answer was no back then. I have tried so long and so hard to be selfloving and I thought I have complished that but now I am asking for love again. I have been asked many times if I were ready for baby #2. I didn't know the anwer, I always thought if there'd be abay #1 then there has to be #2, cause it made sense. well ...it made sense then but I am not ready for another one, I know that for sure, as least for today ... I love Ethan, I won't treat him for the whole world, but I need to get myelf back, I need to learn to love myself again, take care myself again, get my balance back so I could be able to give again. saying that makes me feel lighter already. ;-)
again, Happy Birthday and sweet dream

Happy the First Birthday!

http://picasaweb.google.com/evette.yu/FirstBirthday
Feb.8 was Ethan's first birthday. I can't believe how fast a year has gone by, how much our little bear has grown up. I am scared of him being a "toddler", I am not through with his babyhood yet... should we start disipline? should we start watching our own behaviers? erh... this is coming too soon.
anyway, I baked a cake, a teddy bear cake, for ethan's birthday party. Maria helped with the frosting. it turned out to be really good. I mean both the look and the taste, ;-) what a surprise !

the party was on Sat. the 9th. we had 20+ guests plus 5 kids. it was a beautiful day, I think the temperature was in the 7o. unfoutanitely Ethan had cold the day before, he wasn't in a very good mood, didn't nap well either ... but he has fun, stayed up till 9:30 and a good night sleep (except I had food poisioning?? up all night, puking or sitting on the toilet)